Thanks to your comment I just realized the socialworkerstream.com website appears to be gone. I will need to find another internet resource for finding personal care homes — these (internet resources) seem to be rare — these agencies seem to function through their own networks. If your son is on SSI you should be able to apply for “SOURCE” to help pay for the PCH, and maybe while you are in the midst of the process of getting approved for SOURCE you could get one of those lists of PCHs from them? Then that is just the beginning of your work as you call them by the dozens to find one with an opening for a young mentally ill male. It’s not impossible, but I am just warning you to brace yourself for the workload. I need to dig into my papers — I remember there was a government database somewhere for mental health services that I think included PCHs. When I find it I will make a post about it.

Anyway, I am not sure a personal care home is going to help you much if your son refuses to go to a day program, because my experience has been that most will require a day program for their young mentally ill residents. It might still be worthwhile to get him moved into a PCH even if it is for a short time (before they realize he will refuse to go to his day program) just to give you a break and a few nights rest so that you can think again.

I have a couple thoughts for you. If the reason for your son sleeping all day is because the house is quiet with no one else there, maybe you could get an adult day sitter to be in the house and play the TV loud, et cetera, to keep him awake so he will then sleep at night. I know there are “granny sitters” — the type that people hire for watching elderly people at home during the day while the adult children are at work — and they would be much cheaper than a PCH if you are paying out of pocket.

Another thought is to get into some kind of family counseling with your son to try to get him to understand that his disruption of your sleep is a serious matter, and he needs to make some concessions. If plain, reasonable and open discussion is making him cranky, maybe there needs to be an adjustment of his medication because of his mood. I know counseling and medication won’t fix all the problems in his thinking, that’s why these people are mentally ill after all, but maybe you can get enough help that you can live with the rest of his behaviors.

I just had a brainstorm that is a little strange, but who knows if it could work. Try posting a “help wanted” or what they call a “gig” at Craigslist, asking for someone to watch your son in their home overnight. Who knows? There might be someone who is unemployed or mildly physically disabled who would be willing to make some extra money this way.

I hope some of the above helps. I will try to find the link to the database to post here soon.

Exhausted and stressed
Denise Fitzpatrick